pictures of you;

as i was trying to reorganize my room because of my new lack of furniture, i came across the letters you wrote me. i ripped most of them up as a result of anger and despair over a year ago, but i found the secret stash i kept. there was only one reason i kept the select few i did: so that i could come across them at a later point in time and read them and feel the love you felt towards me, that i didn't feel in return.


exactly that happened.


i cried for a short amount of time, and afterwards sat there, feeling like there would be no end to the tribulation that was rushing through my body. lucky for me, it did. it was the same feeling i always get after reading the letters. i felt free: free of the hardships i faced while being with you, free of the pain i was caused, free of the world.

my life goal;

i want to study music. the only thing i've ever been able to stick with in life is music: both playing and listening. i don't care if people criticize me and tell me it's a dying business; it's what i want. everyday, the only thing that comes to mind when i hear the word aspirations is music. i want to keep playing my flute. i want to teach others how to make beautiful music. i want people to see that my dreams are real and that i won't give up for anything. <3

no need to worry;

nothing's wrong.
nothing will ever be wrong.
why would it be?
i'm always in a perfectly good mood, a perfectly good state of being.


so there's no need to worry.

time will destroy us;

blood covers my hands, but i'm not sure that i'm ready to wash off the evidence that i am able to hurt..that i hurt now.

you watch me bleed;

what's happening to me...?
i'm falling harder than i've ever fallen before.