As more and more time passes, I can see the little girl in me growing up to be the strong, independent woman that I have worked my whole life to find. I can feel the small things in my mind slowly falling into place, only to form the bigger picture.
If I have to grow up, I want to move on from the place that has taught me, oh so well, to be myself. I want to move away from the place that has held me back from reaching my full potential. I want to escape the paradise that has been so gratefully provided to me.
I need to go out and venture. I need to find what my true calling is. I need to get away from the atmosphere that has caused so many depressing and suicidal thoughts. I need to find the place where I can truly grow and express the true feelings and desires that I have.
When everyone says life hits you all at once and your curtain falls down, it's true.
Big Sister:
A few years ago, you let me know that through the journey of growing up, everything would feel like it was breaking. You said that the weight of the world, whether it be the people, the atmosphere, the circumstances, etc., would come down and crash into me full force once it was that time. Well, Sis, I think now is the time. I think if there is one thing I can take from the place I was born and raised, it is exactly that. You have indirectly taught me so much. Even though for the past few years, as I have been growing and finding myself, we haven't talked, you have still had a huge influence on my way of thinking. You have shown me that nobody else can determine your happiness. You have shown me that I can't let the thoughts and opinions of everyone else block the one pathway that I truly want to take. Thank you so much, Sis. So much. I love you.
Twin:
I know it has been more than ages since we've seen each other or even technically called each other "Twin," but I want you to know that in the process of growing up, you have definitely had the biggest influence on me. We have cried, laughed, harmed, grown, fought, and loved our way to the point we are at now. I know we aren't very tight anymore, which I am truly remorseful for, but I know that in the end, you would have my back. Sit tight. Every thing will work out in your favor. You are an exceptional young woman, and life has just begun for you. I know, probably better than some, the hand life has dealt to you has at times been awful, but as long as you make the best move possible from it, you will be successful. Life won't beat you, dear. I know you are strong enough to overcome every little thing that comes your way. I love you.
Dumpling:
Oh, our path has been rough, and here lately, I wish I could change it all. I wish I could go back in time and fix the times that I know I messed up. I wish that things would all be peachy keen, just like they were back during senior year. On the flip side, I know I can't change the past. I know I can't change what happened, what was said, or what was felt, but what I do know is that we have to learn and live from this. If this is the sole purpose of what was so apparent between us, then let it be. The force of the universe is what leads us and lets us feel what decisions we should make. Some of us mess up. I know that in our friendship, I have multiple times. I'm not going to be generous, as this whole story is about growing from the past, so you have made mistakes too. We all have. I am not quite sure where I am going with this, just because of the fact that I don't want it to be over. I want us to go back to the way things were and continue on with the lives we had planned out for ourselves. I will leave it at that for now and get back to you.
Ultimately, I don't want to grow up. I want life to be simple. Every last piece of me wants to be ten years old again, playing with barbies, making beaded bracelets, and running around in the back yard, but let's face it. I have to grow up, just as everyone else does. Every single person in this whole world has a reason that they went through what they did as a child, teenager, and even young adult.
I am here to find my purpose.
My curtain has closed and now fallen.
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